Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Why I believe in fairies...


I was a weird kid like all the other kids who almost talked with everything. My parents did not have to bother about leaving me alone at home because they somehow felt I was never alone really. While I was digging into the junk looking for empty bottles and broken glass, and a portion of the wall got scratched by accident, I sat there talking to the wall, “Did I hurt you, dear? I am sorry, I did not really intend to do that.”
I talked to ants, to cats, to sky, to rain, to puddles and God and every single thing that I could see, feel or touch. The day my report card and marks did not meet my expectations, I returned home angry and all the way before I reached the altar in my house I kept saying to God, “Keep some time free today. We need to talk.”
Of course, then I grew up and like all the other grown ups realized fairies, Santas, mermaids, and ghosts did not exist at all. Among all these I had the toughest time to give up God. That imaginary friend of mine who I used to share every little secret with, I had to question, disapprove and give up.
 A huge portion of my life from standard 3 until recent ‘now’ were in complete disapproval and after I have chosen a creative field and everyday wake up to polish it further, I realize I have walked a full circle and now returned.   
While I was working with wood in my first year of design course in NID, I was told, “You have to understand its nature. You have to see what is its natural tendency and in which route the grains take you further.” 
The huge portion of this world that once I grew up to consider non-living and non-communicative, once again started to have life. However, I discovered there were different levels of communication. While I was a child I talked, now our relationships matured and we talked less but spent enormous silent moments instead, understanding each other.
­In my very educating life then came a period with my Guruji who sang, lived and died Dhrupad. He said, “Every note is alive and has a personality of its own. Once you have understood and befriended its nature it will befriend you in return.” And there we sat every morning just uttering “Sa” for hours and hours and hours to understand what exactly it wants.
­I met a Japanese lady to whom I said, I love your Sushi. She smiled and narrated the recipe to me. One of the statements was, “…and then you press the rice gently. If you squeeze it too hard, you are not respecting it enough.” Does that sound insane and abnormal? Respecting rice… how does that work?
In ancient India our forefathers and mothers respected almost anything they could think of--rivers, trees, rocks, clouds and air.
Gods and goddesses were respectable terms. Once you assign that post to an entity you consider it worthy of your respect and attention. Something you respect, you try to be grateful to and understand its nature. There develops a communication, a language that helps support the goal of one another.
O tree, you give me shade, you give me food, you nurture my life. I respect you in return. O cow, your milk sustains my health. You are equivalent to my mother. Please accept my gratitude in return.
We find these insane now. The tree is not giving fruit to me, it grows for its own good and I am stronger and hence will use it for my survival. The cow does not give milk to me, I force it to give and it has no option. The goddess Ganga has now become a slave. The trees we hear not. If you want to make a campaign of how important the environment is, you now have to explain every individual in a very scientific manner how helping them will after a complex system of chain reaction, help you in return. How simple the world would be if we just realized all you need to do is respect everything around and everything will just be fine.
I was amazed by the documentary “The secret life of plants”. Just the intention of burning a leaf to see how it reacts showed a fluctuation in the graph. Yes, plants can read our thoughts. You may go on to explain that is the result of chemical reaction in the plant that was triggered by the thermal change in the environment due to the thoughts in the man which affected his own thermal sphere or may be a more complex diagram… to me just the fact that my emotions affect the plant is enough. I can never after that pluck a leaf carelessly while I pass. I can never uproot a tiny grass in my most unconscious nature.
An experiment on crystallization was done by Dr. Masaru Emoto. The water being crystallized each time with different emotions, reacted with different patterns.
The more I grow up now, I grow up with a belief that I belong to a living Universe. My good thoughts and intentions transferring to good deeds can transform lives but till the time it is within me growing with potential I still am a mass beaming with dynamic positive vibes. A plant I pass by knows from far here comes an individual who does not want to hurt. In that intense moment we bond. When I walk through the ground I want to pass on a signal to every atom in the grain of every sand, “Hey, we are part of the same Universe, hope you are doing fine!” I feel I have developed a ground from where I can communicate without words. I can transfer my emotions to the entire giant structure and the purer I keep my thoughts, the clearer is my signal.
Once again, my childhood returned. I pull out empty bottles and broken glass, try to fit one thing into the other to design something better. While doing it, I try to understand its form, its nature, its relationship with the surrounding and its inbuilt intension. While understanding we talk. In the most non-verbal way, yet more fluent and communicative than words.  
I used to spend extra time earlier in meditation. When I was a child I needed to sit in front of the altar to talk to God. I have discovered the same child in me once again. Its just that I do not need an extra God. I can communicate to the entire Universe as if it is alive and God is just a synonym for that.
Meditation is to find that special communicative language to talk to the inner world. My inner world has now become my outer world making that language so general.
I no more want to seek peace and calmness within my life. I feel harmony is something inbuilt in me, much deeper, always grounded to the root of the existence and the Universe. My emotions on the surface tossed and churned and boiled and bubbled and to suffer and smile and laugh is my playful nature. As I cry and laugh and complain and threaten God, S(H)e smiles at me and laughs at my every tantrum.

2 comments:

tkb said...

I don't know from where did I land up here, but must say worth reading..though I'm an agnostic but while relating to child-hood memories it lifted up my spirit :)

felinedev said...

deep n honest admission ... almost guilty but not shameful... a comment does not do it... something calls you... hope its in the design to act